The Phantom Messenger

Just had a lovely conversation with cheergurlofmhs - I felt we really connected this time.

cheergurlofmhs says:

09:14:27

heyyy

09:45:27

where'd ya go?????

I say:

09:46:59

and you are?

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cheergurlofmhs says:

09:47:16

l happened 2 c u online so i thought i'd say hiii

09:47:27

21/female how bout u???

I say:

09:48:02

59/female

cheergurlofmhs says:

09:48:17

Hmmm we ever cghatted b4?

I say:

09:49:33

i doubt it. i only got my arms last week

cheergurlofmhs says:

09:49:49

ah ok. i wasnt reaIIIy sure. anywayz tho what's up???

I say:

09:50:59

my leg at the moment. its being suspended from the ceiling

cheergurlofmhs says:

09:51:15

l so bored on here anymore. there's never anyone around ya no??

I say:

09:52:02

i know. being tied up and agged for 23.5 hours of every day in solitary confinement means I don't see many people at all

cheergurlofmhs says:

09:52:18

I have an idea if u wanna have sum fun. i was gonna get on my cam but noone's around as usual u should cuum join me

09:52:34

theres this cool site i found just like facebook but w/o anystupid kids wanna see????

I say:

09:53:19

I have an old 35mm camera and I think theres a film lying around somewhere in this place. If you can wait another 22 hours, I will try and ask for the film (I am only allowed 3 words per day)

cheergurlofmhs says:

09:53:35

it only takes asecond to signup and it's freeeeee 2 http://www.mywebcamshow.com/sexyprincess just click the ''JOIN FREE' at the topp

09:53:51

once u sign up ure aIII set and u can joinmy private chat and tell me what 2 do

I say:

09:54:17

but I dont have a second. They said if I am bad they will take away my arms again

cheergurlofmhs says:

09:54:34

yeah you do need a creditcard of sumkind but u wiII not get charged anything

I say:

09:54:58

credit card? Does it not take French Francs? I have a whole pocket full of them

cheergurlofmhs says:

09:55:15

if u have any troubIe just let me know andi'll help u out but hurry up i'm gettin lonely waiting

I say:

09:55:41

lonely? Try being locked up all day! I am avert to trouble

cheergurlofmhs says:

09:55:57

u in yet hun?? i'm going to go get my sexiest thong on so ill brb can't wait to see u!!!!

I say:

09:57:32

i guess i could iron some y-fronts for you

If I Ruled the World...

Having noticed recently that there are so many things that annoy me, I have decided to make a list of things that should be adopted.

1. Walkways/Pavements
Much like the motorway and dual-carriageway system, I believe that walkways should be split into four lanes (single file).  Two up, two down with the right hand lane being for faster walkers, and the left lane for the dawdlers or those in mobility scooters.  Happy to impose fines for people who are in the wrong lane too.

2.  Elevator Etiquette (L'eitquette)
If I am traveling to the ninth floor and three people get in each traveling to floors two, three and four, I believe the three early leavers sould be more considerate to people like me who have to endure a longer elevator journey.  In an ideal world, the person travelling to the second floor shouldn't even be in the lift (this is covered in point three), however given that they are all on-board, they should take my situation on board and comprimise by getting off at level three.  That way, the third floor dweller arrives at their destination, the lucky person going to second floor has to walk down only one set of stairs (which is better than walking up two flights of stairs) and the person on fourth, needs only walk up one flight of stairs.  Everyone is happy!

3. Elevator Rant (part 2)
Under no circumstances should anyone ever take a lift up one level! Using the elevator to go down one level is unthinkable! The only exception is for those who are handicapped, however proof should be given.  By handicapped, I do not mean morbidly obese - obesity is not an illness.  I think it is only fair for everyone in the lift to sigh and stare at anyone who does this!

4. Elderly People
Driving should be from the ages of 17-60 only! Anything past 60 should have their licence revoked, and their car/truck crushed.  This is purely an act of utilitarianism!  On another note, elderly people should not be allowed to take doctors appointments at the beginning or end of the working day.  These should be kept exclusively for people that work! On two levels, this allows the workers to get mended, and allows the elderly to wait around all day for their appointment, thus occupying their entire day.

More to come...