Monday, 11 July 2016
Saturday, 9 July 2016
Wednesday, 9 November 2011
The Phantom Messenger
Just had a lovely conversation with cheergurlofmhs - I felt we really connected this time.
cheergurlofmhs says:
09:14:27
heyyy
09:45:27
where'd ya go?????
I say:
09:46:59
and you are?
cheergurlofmhs says:
09:47:16
l happened 2 c u online so i thought i'd say hiii
09:47:27
21/female how bout u???
I say:
09:48:02
59/female
cheergurlofmhs says:
09:48:17
Hmmm we ever cghatted b4?
I say:
09:49:33
i doubt it. i only got my arms last week
cheergurlofmhs says:
09:49:49
ah ok. i wasnt reaIIIy sure. anywayz tho what's up???
I say:
09:50:59
my leg at the moment. its being suspended from the ceiling
cheergurlofmhs says:
09:51:15
l so bored on here anymore. there's never anyone around ya no??
I say:
09:52:02
i know. being tied up and agged for 23.5 hours of every day in solitary confinement means I don't see many people at all
cheergurlofmhs says:
09:52:18
I have an idea if u wanna have sum fun. i was gonna get on my cam but noone's around as usual u should cuum join me
09:52:34
theres this cool site i found just like facebook but w/o anystupid kids wanna see????
I say:
09:53:19
I have an old 35mm camera and I think theres a film lying around somewhere in this place. If you can wait another 22 hours, I will try and ask for the film (I am only allowed 3 words per day)
cheergurlofmhs says:
09:53:35
it only takes asecond to signup and it's freeeeee 2 http://www.mywebcamshow.com/sexyprincess just click the ''JOIN FREE' at the topp
09:53:51
once u sign up ure aIII set and u can joinmy private chat and tell me what 2 do
I say:
09:54:17
but I dont have a second. They said if I am bad they will take away my arms again
cheergurlofmhs says:
09:54:34
yeah you do need a creditcard of sumkind but u wiII not get charged anything
I say:
09:54:58
credit card? Does it not take French Francs? I have a whole pocket full of them
cheergurlofmhs says:
09:55:15
if u have any troubIe just let me know andi'll help u out but hurry up i'm gettin lonely waiting
I say:
09:55:41
lonely? Try being locked up all day! I am avert to trouble
cheergurlofmhs says:
09:55:57
u in yet hun?? i'm going to go get my sexiest thong on so ill brb can't wait to see u!!!!
I say:
09:57:32
i guess i could iron some y-fronts for you
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
If I Ruled the World...
Having noticed recently that there are so many things that annoy me, I have decided to make a list of things that should be adopted.
1. Walkways/Pavements
Much like the motorway and dual-carriageway system, I believe that walkways should be split into four lanes (single file). Two up, two down with the right hand lane being for faster walkers, and the left lane for the dawdlers or those in mobility scooters. Happy to impose fines for people who are in the wrong lane too.
2. Elevator Etiquette (L'eitquette)
If I am traveling to the ninth floor and three people get in each traveling to floors two, three and four, I believe the three early leavers sould be more considerate to people like me who have to endure a longer elevator journey. In an ideal world, the person travelling to the second floor shouldn't even be in the lift (this is covered in point three), however given that they are all on-board, they should take my situation on board and comprimise by getting off at level three. That way, the third floor dweller arrives at their destination, the lucky person going to second floor has to walk down only one set of stairs (which is better than walking up two flights of stairs) and the person on fourth, needs only walk up one flight of stairs. Everyone is happy!
3. Elevator Rant (part 2)
Under no circumstances should anyone ever take a lift up one level! Using the elevator to go down one level is unthinkable! The only exception is for those who are handicapped, however proof should be given. By handicapped, I do not mean morbidly obese - obesity is not an illness. I think it is only fair for everyone in the lift to sigh and stare at anyone who does this!
4. Elderly People
Driving should be from the ages of 17-60 only! Anything past 60 should have their licence revoked, and their car/truck crushed. This is purely an act of utilitarianism! On another note, elderly people should not be allowed to take doctors appointments at the beginning or end of the working day. These should be kept exclusively for people that work! On two levels, this allows the workers to get mended, and allows the elderly to wait around all day for their appointment, thus occupying their entire day.
More to come...
1. Walkways/Pavements
Much like the motorway and dual-carriageway system, I believe that walkways should be split into four lanes (single file). Two up, two down with the right hand lane being for faster walkers, and the left lane for the dawdlers or those in mobility scooters. Happy to impose fines for people who are in the wrong lane too.
2. Elevator Etiquette (L'eitquette)
If I am traveling to the ninth floor and three people get in each traveling to floors two, three and four, I believe the three early leavers sould be more considerate to people like me who have to endure a longer elevator journey. In an ideal world, the person travelling to the second floor shouldn't even be in the lift (this is covered in point three), however given that they are all on-board, they should take my situation on board and comprimise by getting off at level three. That way, the third floor dweller arrives at their destination, the lucky person going to second floor has to walk down only one set of stairs (which is better than walking up two flights of stairs) and the person on fourth, needs only walk up one flight of stairs. Everyone is happy!
3. Elevator Rant (part 2)
Under no circumstances should anyone ever take a lift up one level! Using the elevator to go down one level is unthinkable! The only exception is for those who are handicapped, however proof should be given. By handicapped, I do not mean morbidly obese - obesity is not an illness. I think it is only fair for everyone in the lift to sigh and stare at anyone who does this!
4. Elderly People
Driving should be from the ages of 17-60 only! Anything past 60 should have their licence revoked, and their car/truck crushed. This is purely an act of utilitarianism! On another note, elderly people should not be allowed to take doctors appointments at the beginning or end of the working day. These should be kept exclusively for people that work! On two levels, this allows the workers to get mended, and allows the elderly to wait around all day for their appointment, thus occupying their entire day.
More to come...
Sunday, 21 March 2010
I Hate Traffic Wardens
Parking Charge Notice: xxxxxxxxx
Dear sir/madam
I am writing to you regarding the parking ticket one of your slightly visually impaired parking attendants (01277) placed on my windscreen on 11/3/10.
I admit I drive a slightly larger car. Surprisingly this larger car comes with a slightly larger windscreen. As driving this slightly larger car requires slightly more concentration, I have to strategically place my necessary legal permits and paraphernalia on the left hand side of this slightly larger windscreen. Upon closer inspection of these ‘necessary legal permits’, one will find a shiny blue parking permit, that entitles me to park beneath the property that I own and live in at Parkhouse Court.
Why the hell have you given me a ticket? This is an absolute joke and complete waste of my time. Perhaps it would be better if I illuminate the permit from the inside of the car, or better still shine a spotlight onto it, thus eliminating the chance of this error (on your part) occurring again in the future. Would it help if I left a step ladder near my car? I appreciate that not everyone is 6 foot tall. I also have a good friend who works in Specsavers. If need be, I can arrange an appointment for parking attendant 01277.
I look forward to hearing from you, acknowledging your error along with a formal letter of apology. I can’t wait to make Grant Shapps and the local newspaper aware of UKPC’s screw up!
Yours Sincerely
David Adam Moritz
Dear sir/madam
I am writing to you regarding the parking ticket one of your slightly visually impaired parking attendants (01277) placed on my windscreen on 11/3/10.
I admit I drive a slightly larger car. Surprisingly this larger car comes with a slightly larger windscreen. As driving this slightly larger car requires slightly more concentration, I have to strategically place my necessary legal permits and paraphernalia on the left hand side of this slightly larger windscreen. Upon closer inspection of these ‘necessary legal permits’, one will find a shiny blue parking permit, that entitles me to park beneath the property that I own and live in at Parkhouse Court.
Why the hell have you given me a ticket? This is an absolute joke and complete waste of my time. Perhaps it would be better if I illuminate the permit from the inside of the car, or better still shine a spotlight onto it, thus eliminating the chance of this error (on your part) occurring again in the future. Would it help if I left a step ladder near my car? I appreciate that not everyone is 6 foot tall. I also have a good friend who works in Specsavers. If need be, I can arrange an appointment for parking attendant 01277.
I look forward to hearing from you, acknowledging your error along with a formal letter of apology. I can’t wait to make Grant Shapps and the local newspaper aware of UKPC’s screw up!
Yours Sincerely
David Adam Moritz
Saturday, 24 October 2009
Saturday Is (not) The New Sunday
So yesterday and today, I have been feeling the effects of early monring training runs, 12+ hours at work and David Dimbleby. So when it came to yesterday morning, and given that Kate was running in the evening, having had 5 hours, sleep the idea of going out in the rain wasn't too appealing. Plus some good friends keep saying I need to taper. So I stayed in bed an extra hour, before heading to the BP garage in Hemel to read the front pages and grab a coffee and muffin.
I planned to evening session to be some speed work at Westminster Lodge on the track, followed by spinning at the gym. Alas, the track was closed due to some winter thingy, so I headed out towards the Hollybush, before returning to the gym, completing an 8 or so mile loop in 55 mins. I then continued to the spin room as planned, whilst Anthony told us we were going Brazilian in the morning. I was slightly worried, plus I'm out of wax. I then headed home for an evening in front of the sofa, and some fun with the foam roller, courtesy of Karen the physio.
So Saturday morning came. Mr. McIntyre had planned to do Sunday's run today, which kind of offset things a bit. If we were to do Sunday's run on Saturday, then I should expect the shops to remain closed until 10am and be having dinner with my nan as I write this. Plus, does that mean I can do Saturday on Sunday? It would be unheard of to go to work the day after Saturday. And when do I do my washing, let alone put the clocks back? Niall - you've confused me! So anyway, as it turned out, I awoke at 6:20am, turned the alarm off and went straight back to sleep. Only to be woken by my mother and father who decided we needed to go to London to get Visa's for NY next week. A quick inspection of the tickets and a handy link to the ESTA gov website, and we were all visa'd up.
So off to the gym. A quick 10 minute burst on the cross-trainer at level 18, then into Spin for Anthony's Brazilian. Having recently downloaded Bruno I was a bit scared, but thankfully he was talking about Brazilian music (although Equador by Sash is a little further South). So a medium 45 minute session before heading to Starbucks for a well deserved coffee. After lunch, I planned to do a pyramid session at Westminster Lodge (200-400-800-1200-800-400-200), however I couldn't be bothered to fuss with my Garmin, so attempted the 10X400m reps I did on Monday. I think it may have been a combination of eating only an hour before and having had a tough week and spun in the morning, but I was struggling after 5, and what stopped me was the pain in my right arm. It was like I had been punched. As I write this, I am trying not to let it hit the desk. Some Ibuprofen will hopefully keep it at ease until tomorrow. My Garmin however lost the data from today's 5 reps - clearly a sign.
Tomorrow the plan is to run with Speirsy & 2 others over a 10-12 mile course at marathon pace. Quite looking forward to that. ANd one week to go until New York and counting...
I planned to evening session to be some speed work at Westminster Lodge on the track, followed by spinning at the gym. Alas, the track was closed due to some winter thingy, so I headed out towards the Hollybush, before returning to the gym, completing an 8 or so mile loop in 55 mins. I then continued to the spin room as planned, whilst Anthony told us we were going Brazilian in the morning. I was slightly worried, plus I'm out of wax. I then headed home for an evening in front of the sofa, and some fun with the foam roller, courtesy of Karen the physio.
So Saturday morning came. Mr. McIntyre had planned to do Sunday's run today, which kind of offset things a bit. If we were to do Sunday's run on Saturday, then I should expect the shops to remain closed until 10am and be having dinner with my nan as I write this. Plus, does that mean I can do Saturday on Sunday? It would be unheard of to go to work the day after Saturday. And when do I do my washing, let alone put the clocks back? Niall - you've confused me! So anyway, as it turned out, I awoke at 6:20am, turned the alarm off and went straight back to sleep. Only to be woken by my mother and father who decided we needed to go to London to get Visa's for NY next week. A quick inspection of the tickets and a handy link to the ESTA gov website, and we were all visa'd up.
So off to the gym. A quick 10 minute burst on the cross-trainer at level 18, then into Spin for Anthony's Brazilian. Having recently downloaded Bruno I was a bit scared, but thankfully he was talking about Brazilian music (although Equador by Sash is a little further South). So a medium 45 minute session before heading to Starbucks for a well deserved coffee. After lunch, I planned to do a pyramid session at Westminster Lodge (200-400-800-1200-800-400-200), however I couldn't be bothered to fuss with my Garmin, so attempted the 10X400m reps I did on Monday. I think it may have been a combination of eating only an hour before and having had a tough week and spun in the morning, but I was struggling after 5, and what stopped me was the pain in my right arm. It was like I had been punched. As I write this, I am trying not to let it hit the desk. Some Ibuprofen will hopefully keep it at ease until tomorrow. My Garmin however lost the data from today's 5 reps - clearly a sign.
Tomorrow the plan is to run with Speirsy & 2 others over a 10-12 mile course at marathon pace. Quite looking forward to that. ANd one week to go until New York and counting...
Thursday, 22 October 2009
Wish I'd Have Stayed in Bed(mond)
Waking up at 5:15am when my flat is the same temperature as outside, is not inspiration for a mid-distance run. Add the rain and fog, and I still question why I bothered. Anyway, left the flat and headed to St. Albans to meet Kate, before heading to Fitness First to ditch my bag and head out towards the country lanes. Yesterday was my physio session with Karen, who couldn't stress enough how much I need to lay off the stretching, and that I am just too flexible. No wait - wrong way round!
I'm glad Kate was also questioning why we were doing this, given the bad weather. But we up the high street, towards Batchwood road, before heading up Blue House Lane and into the woods towards Bedmond. It is amazing how dark it is now. You actually cannot see a thing. We just hope the cars see us, as their headlights blaze through the hedges. But luckily, the lack of light disguised the hills, so when we were into mile 7 and I wondered why my legs were tightening, it was a relief to see we had finished the bulk of the hills. So back towards St. Albans, before breaking out onto the Chiswell Green road, then heading back passing the fancy houses and then back to the gym.
11.6 Miles in 1:28. Nothing amazing, even though we were sure we were going faster until we heard the 7:30 bells from the tower. Planning on doing Yoga later.
I'm glad Kate was also questioning why we were doing this, given the bad weather. But we up the high street, towards Batchwood road, before heading up Blue House Lane and into the woods towards Bedmond. It is amazing how dark it is now. You actually cannot see a thing. We just hope the cars see us, as their headlights blaze through the hedges. But luckily, the lack of light disguised the hills, so when we were into mile 7 and I wondered why my legs were tightening, it was a relief to see we had finished the bulk of the hills. So back towards St. Albans, before breaking out onto the Chiswell Green road, then heading back passing the fancy houses and then back to the gym.
11.6 Miles in 1:28. Nothing amazing, even though we were sure we were going faster until we heard the 7:30 bells from the tower. Planning on doing Yoga later.
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